Thursday, June 9, 2011

Are you lost ma'am? (Part 1)

Because heaven is a long way from here.

Hey guys!

Today, I wrote a very, very serious blog post where I complained about my eating disorder and etc. etc. etc.  As important as those thoughts are, I think it's more important to keep this blog positive.  So those thoughts do not belong here, no way!

Let's stay positive people!  (Source)

And in order to make this blog as positive as possible, I feel it is appropriate to talk about happiness.

Everyone is on the pursuit of happiness.



Even Aristotle, Plato, Nietzsche, pretty much every philosopher had his own view of the path to happiness.  (I'm not sure why I named those philosophers in particular...)

"And I believe the way to happiness is..." (Source)

So for years and years and years, we, as humans, have concerned ourselves with finding happiness.

But see, that's where the problem is.

You read that correctly, there is a problem with the pursuit of happiness!

Yup, yup!  (Source)

We get so caught up in trying to be happy and trying to find the perfect everything that we miss out on the happiness that is already available to us. 

In high school, I had a philosophy project where we all had to find one song that described our "happiness philosophy".  The song I chose?

Okay, so the title isn't exactly creative.  But please listen and read the lyrics.

So this is part one in the "pursuit of happiness series".  Okay, it will probably end up being two posts and that's it.  But I don't want to inundate you with all my once ;)

I want to hear what you think about "happiness" and what you think about the song.

Stay tuned for much more on this topic!

(Seriously, I just don't want this post to be too long or too annoying, so I'm breaking it up.  I'm doing you a favor :p)

Until next time...

-CJ xoxo

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Was your father a mechanic?

Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

No such thing as a cheesy pick-up line! (Source)

Hey all!  How are you doing?

Today's began in the club!



You can find me in the club, with my friends, danc[ing] the night away whenever we have the chance.

Considering I'm a college student, I went to parties quite frequently in college.  (By the end of this year, it was Friday and Saturday night of every weekend...heyy you're only young once, right?  And we all know girls just want to have fun...)

And let me tell you.  I got my fair share of attention.  Maybe even a little more than usual.  So I'm used to the attention from the chicos on the weekends.  (Not to sound arrogant; sometimes I did initiate the conversation, but heyyy we still had tons of fun).


Daddy I'm so sorry, I'm so s-s-sorry yeah/   We just like to party, like to p-p-party yeah

But the other night at the club... much more attention than I am used to.  Or different kinds of attention.  Because usually the guy doesn't inundate me with compliments (I do get them, though, I promise haha).  But at the club...guys would just say "You are so beautiful", "You are so sexy" and just constant attention.

Okay, so it didn't sound like this, but it still felt great.

Mind you, I've been to my fair share of clubs before.

The difference between this time and all the other times?

Well, I had on my FAV dress that I always have such great memories in.
Seriously, do you guys have a dress or outfit that brings back such a great memories?

Such a great dress...ahh now I want to wear it every time I go out! (Source)

But I was also feeling really confident and I wasn't necessarily looking for attention.  When I go out in college, I am looking to meet a new guy that night.  I am looking for someone to dance with.  I won't be satisfied if I don't end up meeting someone.  (I'm not looking for a boyfriend, just someone to dance with THAT NIGHT).

With me??? ;) (Source)

Anyway (ahhh that word), that night I just wasn't looking for anything.  I decided just to dance and enjoy myself. 

And you know that cliché, if you stopped looking for something, you'll find it.

BINGO!  It's dead on.


Just being a confident, smiling girl who was having tons of fun got me so much more attention than the girl who was looking for someone.

So lesson of the day?
Even in a club, where looks matter so much, personality still has an important role.  So stop trying so damn hard, put on a smile, throw on something that makes you feel beautiful, and rock it.  Because the guys will follow as long as you are loving yourself.

And do the pretty girl rock!!

When you go out with friends (whether it be out to dinner or to a club), do you find yourself looking for guys or focusing on having fun?  (If you are married or in a serious relationship, what did you do when you were single?)

Bye, bye beauties!
-CJ xoxo

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Did the sun come out

 or did you just smile at me?

Ahhh good-ol' pick-up lines (Source)

Remember how I said I was MIA learning so many great things?  Well, I've been learning more and more, and I cannot wait to share another lesson.

This time?  It's all about the chicos!

Just spent like 5 minutes trying to find the perfect picture of "hot guys"...needless to say...I was certainly enjoying myself :p (Source)

I swear I'm not a dumb blonde,

I swear! (Source)

but for a while, I thought that if I were perfect, then I would get the perfect guy.  And I simply wanted the perfect guy, like most girls, to love me.  I was lonely and I wanted love. 

Like honestly, what was I thinking? ((Source)

In an effort to be perfect and stand out (I wanted to be the "most" at something so guys would notice me...I chose to be the thinnest...bad choice...).

Again, I repeat...


Looking back, I now realize how dumb all this must sound.
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell/I know, right now you can't tell/But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see/A different side of me.

The other day, I was chatting with a bunch of guys about their perfect girl while the girls (including me) told them our version of the perfect guy.

Personality.  Type of humor.  Hair color.  Breast size.  Every little detail was shared.

And you know what I learned?
I always knew that personality mattered to guys (DUH), but what I didn't explicitly realize (I say explicitly meaning: although I knew this to be true deep down, I never consciously verbalized it or noticed it) is that there is no "perfect girl".  Some guys [gentlemen] prefer blondes, some brunettes, some bigger girls, some smaller girls, etc.  Every guy has a different taste, and you are some guy's ideal girl.  Therefore, there is no reason to change yourself because there is someone who is searching for someone just like you!  And I also consciously realized that just as I would settle for someone who doesn't fit my "perfect man", guys will also.  So you really do not need to be perfect.  Instead, you need to just be yourself with your great personality.  Because at the end of the day, personality outweighs looks.

And in conclusion to all this new insightful information all I can say is...

 (Another "well duh" moment...)

But sometimes we just need to be reminded.  Consider this your reminder :D


I just love this quote and thought it was so appropriate:

Don't ever stop smiling, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

What have you learned from the opposite sex in regards to what they are attracted to?  Society makes it seem as though all guys want Barbie, or some other perfect chick, but in reality, that is so not true.  Let's prove it's not true by also listing what you look for in a partner.  Can't wait to read them!

-CJ xoxo

PS I didn't use the word "anyway" and I didn't quote Ke$ha.  What is the world coming to? :O

Friday, June 3, 2011

Are your legs sore?

Because they’ve been running through my mind all day.


Ah the perfect pick-up line for today's topic!  Running (or simply exercising!)

[SIDE NOTE: Sorry, I've been kind of MIA for the past two days...I've been super busy during the day and I've been learning so much that I want to blog stay tuned to hear all about it.  And after my busy day, I could have blogged at night, but I was so tired and so proud of my last post that I didn't want to have just a crappy one last posted.]

But now that I am back, I want to write about what I learned the other day.  I went to bed the night before thinking: tomorrow I am going to go grocery shopping, go for a run, blog, and do whatever else I want.

I'm so ambitious like this monkey!! Source

I know...sick life!  (My job has yet to start for the summer so basically my life is full of lazy days <-- reason I didn't put the music video?  I think the music video is very strange...what is your opinion?]

Anyway, (<--there's that transition word that I cannot stop using! ahh!! Please, help me find a new one!)

The next morning I woke up.  I did go grocery shopping (I simply needed to pick up some things), but I just didn't feel like running.

What's so wrong with just doing this?! Source

I felt like I needed to because after reading all the healthy living blogs on here, I felt like I needed to run to be like you guys.  I felt like if I didn't run then I wasn't healthy and I wasn't going to look good.  I felt I must run so that I could eat more without feeling guilty and so that I could keep my weight down.

But then I stopped myself. 

I've been stopping myself a lot recently to rethink my thought-processes.  

Sometimes, I just need to STOP. (<--Bet you thought I couldn't quote anything, but Ke$sha or other typical pop songs :p)

I decided that if I really didn't feel like working out, for whatever reason, (this was mainly due to the fact that it felt like 90 degrees outside), then I really don't have to.  It's not about necessarily looking good or keeping up with the other bloggers.  I've decided that the only reason to run would be for health, physical and mental.  Physical, so my heart is working properly, my body is in shape, and so that I am strong.  Mental, so that my mind is happy and stressful. 

If those weren't the motivators, then I do not necessarily have to run.

So I didn't.

Phew! Got out of that one! Source

Later that day (around 7:30 p.m.) I was thinking I really needed to get some exercise.  I was somewhat bored and I wanted to make sure I would be tired so I could fall asleep easily (I had a long day planned the following day).  So at that point, I decided to run.  I did a nice interval workout on the treadmill in air conditioning.  It wasn't about necessarily weight or calories.  It was about feeling good and getting a good night's sleep.  So I had an awesome workout and felt great.

What I looked like after my work-out, more or less! Source

The reason I brought this up is because I feel like many girls feel pressure to work out for two reasons: 1. to look good and 2. because everyone else is doing it.  Although exercise is so important and so great for numerous reasons (like those found here), that should not be the only reasons.  I remember reading a blog a couple of months back (I would link the blog, but now it is on private and I do not have that type of blog so I cannot be granted access), and it said, "Would you still exercise if it made you gain weight?"  Chances are, many would say no.  If you would say no, I encourage you to find some other type of exercise so you wouldn't immediately say no.  Find something that you enjoy doing so the that the only benefit isn't that you lose weight.  (Of course, losing weight/maintaining weight/looking toned will ALWAYS be a reason and that's okay; it just can't be the only reason).

Let's be like her; she just looks so happy after exercising! Source

Today, the challenge is to change your attitude towards exercising.  It is so important that I encourage you all to exercise/move everyday.  Maybe this means just dancing in your room for 10 minutes in the afternoon or going for a 15 minute walk around the neighborhood.  This doesn't mean running for 10 miles or doing a million sit ups.  Be active, but also have fun!  Pick exercises that you enjoy doing!

What are your favorite ways to exercise?  When did you start these ways?  Are they best solo or with friends?  Leave a comment and tell me!

-CJ xoxo

Because I didn't quote Ke$ha today, and I feel like that's now a trademark for me... enjoy a little trashy goodness here! ;)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye.

Oh wait, it's just a sparkle.

You probably thought I was kidding when I said I would start each entry with a pick-up line now. 

I don't kid around with stuff like that ;).

Anyway, today has been a lot of fun.  Rolling out of bed at around 11, seeing old faces, catching up, sharing college stories, laughing until my abs hurt and I was crying (mind you, very wet and very large tears were streaming down).  The life of a college student.  Oh gotta love it!

This was me--except I was shaking and I couldn't keep my eyes open.  What a lovely mental picture, right? Source

[Side note: I just killed a bug by clapping onto it, like a ninja.  Totally disgusting (I just watched my hands like a bajillion times), but I feel a strange sense of accomplishment.  Interesting.  Thought I should share.]

That was know the one scaling the wall.  Sorry, we can't all be as awesome :p Source

Anyway, (wow I need to start learning other transition words), I was really loving life today.   Good day.


There is always an until.

I was watching some youtube videos (not that cat one above, though) and came across this girl who makes hilarious videos who has the perfect body.  PERFECT.  So I watched the video where she talked about her exercise routines and her eating habits.  She is vegan.  I started thinking, well I can't give up meat or diary, but I could eat more veges and fruit.  I can start working out as much as her.

Then I stopped myself.

Stop right there, thank you very much!

Total hypocrite.

Here I am on this blog telling you to love yourself no matter what and the insides matter and all, and there I was, plotting how I could attain the perfect body.


Since I hate being a hypocrite, I think it's time to change (not my body, of course, or my eating habits, or my exercise habits; okay, I just confused you.)

I'm changing my perspective.  What does having that amazing body get her?  Creeping guys writing "I want to do you" and "I think I just got a boner".

Like honestly, do I want that?

Uhh, no.  Thanks, but I am good.


As my nutritionist asked me one time, is your thinness all you want to offer the world?  Is that your contribution?  Is that all you got?

Uhh, no, again.  Thanks, but I am better than that.

So, guess what?

After writing this, I feel so much better about myself.  And I hope you do, too. 

Because at the end of the day, we are who we are.  And a part of who I am is quoting Ke$ha at every opportunity I have ;)  And there is a BIG difference between who you are and what you look like.

[Side note: I am now scratching myself like crazy because I am a firm believer in karma and after killing the bug like 5 minutes ago, I'm afraid its loved ones will now eat me.  Crap.  No more ninja for me!]


What are your goals?  I don't mean what is your weight goal or your exercise goal.  I mean life goals.  I would love to hear what you plan on contributing to this world.

-CJ xoxo

Monday, May 30, 2011

If beauty were time,

you'd be eternity ;)

So I've decided I think I want to begin all my posts with cheesy pick-up lines; I just liked the one from yesterday ohh so much!

Today's topic for this blog is very important for me.  The other weekend, I was feeling very insecure.  Let's just say I was a mess.  My one friend kept telling me that it's okay; it's what's on the inside that matters; I have a beautiful personality; etc.

After she said all of this, I said "Yea, that's what they say to ugly people to make them feel better about themselves."


Ouch! Clearly, I was feeling like a Debbie, a Debbie Downer that is.

Looking back, I am just so frustrated by this all.

I am frustrated that for a second I felt so insecure because I am not perfect.
I am frustrated that this insecurity got to me for so long that I actually complained to my friend about it (I am generally not that girl).
And I am frustrated that I believed for a second that inner beauty only applied to "ugly" outward appearances.

Such BULL.

As Damon says, "you've got to be kidding me!"

Because insides really do matter.  So I got a question; Do you want to have a summer party in my basement?  HAHA just kidding.  I have to stop quoting Ke$ha (it just fits all too perfectly, though).

Anyway, the question: After getting to know someone, do you find them more attractive?  I certainly do.  And not just with males, but also with friends.  I've come to realize that no matter what my first impression of them is, I generally find them prettier as I get to know them.  So clearly, personality does matter.

We spend so much time trying to perfect our outsides that we forget to enhance our insides.

Example you ask?

Well, for prom, I dropped five pounds, got my hair down, bought new makeup, spent over $400 on a dress, and I looked gorgeous.  Looking at the pictures, not to sound arrogant, but I looked incredible.  But regardless, I was still shy and awkward around my date.  Looking so beautiful didn't change those facts.  And I can look incredible when I go out with my friends and I may attract guys, but I have to talk with them and flirt with them once I attract them.  I can't just stand there like a beautiful statue.  And thus, personality does matter.  I was so shy at prom that I honestly haven't spoken to my prom date much since.  Thus, maybe I should have spent more time feeling confident and learning to be outgoing.

It's somewhat amusing that many of my most profound moments could be concluded with a "well, duh".  But hey, I'm young, I'm trying, I'm learning!

Want another example of the importance of inner beauty?

Well, I met this guy my junior year of high school at a leadership conference.  He has been texting me quite frequently, and although he might be the best looking guy that I've texted, he is so shy.  I find he incredibly good looking, but he's just so hard to keep a conversation going with, and so I don't know if I would ever date him.

The point of this long post is for you guys to start embracing your inner beauty.  No, it's not because you are ugly and do not have any outer beauty, like I tried to tell my friend that one day.  It's because your outer beauty can only take you so far.  You have to love yourself and learn to be confident, because when you are feeling most confident, I find it is easiest to be outgoing and to take risks.  And that's a key aspect of life, isn't it?   To take risks, to meet new people, and enjoy it all along the way.

You should love your outward appearance.  But don't forget about your insides.  I hear she's even more gorgeous.


What makes your insides beautiful?  What is one aspect that you love about your personality?  What is one aspect of your personality that you need to work on?  Tell me in the comment!

PS the whole part you need to work on, you kinda need to work on it for this challenge :)

Enjoy your Memorial Day and show the world what you are made of, cuz you were born this way, baby<3
-CJ xoxo

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Do you have a map?

Cuz I'm getting lost in your eyes ;)

I just LOVE pick-up much!  They are so corny, yet so complimentary haha.  What are your thoughts on pick-up lines?  There's definitely a time and place that is perfect for them, in my opinion.

Speaking of pick-up lines, sometimes we all need a pick-me-up.  No, I don't mean a cocktail, coffee, etc.  I mean an affirmation that makes us feel good about ourselves when we are down.

The perfect example of what I mean?  Meet this cutie who teaches us all a good lesson:

So your challenge today?  I want you to make a list of everything that you love about yourself and your life, just like Jessica.  If you want to dance around in front of your bathroom, GO FOR IT!  But make sure you say them aloud; something about speaking it and hearing it makes it penetrate more.  And that's the goal after all.  I want you to live loving yourself and feeling good about what you have.

And whenever you are down, you can now go back to this list and remind yourself of all the good.  Many times we get so bogged down by the bad that we miss out on the good.  There's a great quote that I read the other went like this:

If we never thank God for every smile, then why do we blame Him for every tear?  Get it together people.

Ah such wise words of Chris Tucker

 But seriously, let's start focusing on the good and feeling good about ourselves.  I think we deserve it.

What are you planning on writing on your list?  Leave a comment and tell me!

Ciao beauties<3
-CJ xoxo

Saturday, May 28, 2011

What's cookin' good lookin'? ;)

Hey there!  I was stumbling this morning and came across the best picture ever!

Oh yea!  I'm talking to Y-O-U!

How are you all?  I hope you are all feeling great this Memorial Day weekend!

Today is not just the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend.  Oh no.  It's also, National Compliment Day.  Well, no.  Not really.  I totally just made that up for the challenge I am giving you guys today.  (The official date is actually January 24th, but we missed it, so let's just do it now.  JSYK...I'm celebrating my birthday on June 16th this year with my friends because I was away at college when it was my actual birthday [my birthday is January 27th; clearly I enjoy making up reasons to celebrate and this is NOT new for me ;)]).

So in honor of this holiday, I challenge you to give at least 3 compliments today.  At least, people; it shouldn't be too hard.  I know, as a female, I am such a sucker for any compliment.  They literally make my day.  So why not make someone else's?  And in the process of making someone else feel great, many times you also feel great yourself.  So everyone wins :D

For these compliments, you must be sincere.  No Regina George-like compliments please.

Pic Source

Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks.
Regina: [after girl walks away] That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.

Gotta love Mean Girl quotes

But seriously, none of that.  Please, genuine compliments.  For example: I love your hair.  I adore your outfit.  I like your beard.

Okay, I completely gave away my age.  First, stumbling, then Mean Girl quotes, then a Ke$ha quote.  Yup, I'm 19 years old if you didn't already figure that one out.

But regardless of what you decide to say, mean it and watch how they respond.

And when I say at least 3 today, I never said you can't give yourself a compliment.  Heyyy, I think YOU deserve one, too!

I want to now hear from you!
What is the best compliment you have ever received?  When I was still very sick with anorexia and in the mist of all my restricting behaviors anything that indicated I was thin made me feel alive.  Now?  My favorite compliment was when my friend told me that my inner calmness/happiness makes others around me it's impossible to be upset around me.  Ahh, I feel so good just thinking about it ;)

I want to hear the [at least] 3 compliments you give today (to whom, where, when, all the dirty deets ;)) and how the person you complimented reacted.  I love reactions!  Favorite part!

That's all for today folks! Stay strong today and have fun with your compliments, beautiful<3

-CJ xoxo

Friday, May 27, 2011

Why hello there ;)

 Bienvenida! Aloha! Benvenuto! Cead Mile Failte! And all of the other beautiful languages that I do not want to leave out...."welcome!"

Where do I begin?

I guess I could explain to you that I have an eating disorder (anorexia I suppose would best describe it).  I'm in recovery and doing really well (at this particular moment).  I guess I could describe to you why I [I think] I developed this awful disease, why restricting and starving felt good, why I thought I lost all control in my life.  I guess I could explicate why I sought recovery, what has helped me, what I have learned.  I guess I could share with you the details of my mundane existence, which is overtly laced with eating thoughts and restrictive behavior.

But I'm not.

Because this isn't about me.

No sir!

It's really about this:

42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner (Collins, 1991).
81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat (Mellin et al., 1991).
The average American woman is 5’4" tall and weighs 140 pounds. The average American model is 5’11" tall and weighs 117 pounds.
Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women (Smolak, 1996).
51% of 9 and 10 year-old girls feel better about themselves if they are on a diet (Mellin et al., 1991).
46% of 9-11 year-olds are "sometimes" or "very often" on diets, and
82% of their families are "sometimes" or "very often" on diets (Gustafson-Larson & Terry, 1992).
91% of women recently surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting, 22% dieted "often" or "always" (Kurth et al., 1995).
95% of all dieters will regain their lost weight in 1-5 years (Grodstein, 1996).
35% of "normal dieters" progress to pathological dieting. Of those, 20-25% progress to partial or full-syndrome eating disorders (Shisslak & Crago, 1995).
25% of American men and 45% of American women are on a diet on any given day (Smolak, 1996).
Americans spend over $40 billion on dieting and diet-related products each year (Smolak, 1996).
Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself! (<--That's my source!  No plagiarism intended here!)

This blog is about how these terrifying statistics relate to your friends, your peers, your sisters, your cousins, your children, your students, your future.  Yup, your future

I realize I'm certainly not the first to post these stats.  And I wholeheartedly hope I am not the last.  Something needs to be done.


So, what am I doing here on blogger?  Or, better question, what are you doing here reading it?

I found this beauty here!

We are starting a change.
We are not accepting these statistics.
Through motivational sayings, resources, my own personal experiences, and whatever else I find pertinent, we will see a change.

You, me, your friends, your peers, your sisters, your cousins, your children, your students, all of us together.

So stick around my blog, I need YOUR help.

CJ [<--for privacy purposes, that's me ;)]